Harper’s Bazaar posted a Snapchat story on May 31st: “8 summer style moments you can only get away with in your 20s.” This entry isn’t as timely as I would have hoped, as this was posted nearly two weeks ago, but at the time it came out I was preparing for an Xehar Curvy Press Event in Los Angeles. Now, I am back in Pittsburgh and there is no way this conversation should be over, even if the buzz has quieted down.
You see, I am in my 30s and fat. There isn’t a whole lot I can (or want to) do to appease the haters. While this narrow-minded view is intended to chastise women for aging, I, like most people, was also ridiculed when I was younger. In fact fat 10-year-old me was harassed so bad, that I didn’t wear a bikini again until I was 27. It took me 17 years to realize wearing a bikini was a serious option for me. With that in mind, maybe it is thought that by the time women are in our 30s we should have zero energy left to express ourselves as we should have been mentally beat into submission by now. While there is definitely is an expiration date set for women to express themselves (such as stated in the Harper’s Bazaar Snapchat), the reality is we truly haven’t had the freedom of expression without ridicule in the first place. The mind fuck is that we have an expiration date on the glimmer of hope of freedom of expression. Most of us never even get to the point where we truly express ourselves without harassment or fear of ridicule. Just to share some ways that I am fat and breaking these over 30 rules read on. I decided not to take any new photos for this because I have a million photos of me being a fat 30-something doing what I do. Now onto the rules!
I’ve never had a flat abdomen. This rule would have applied to baby Jamie too. Baby Jamie and over 30 Jamie say fuck that.
Ok. So I don’t do this. Instead I will share a photo of myself wearing a bralette instead of a shirt. Does that count? No. Okay, I’ll work on it.
Ok. Here are kinda short shorts. While I don’t have a photo of myself baring my ass in shorts YET, I shared a photo of my over 30 fat ass here just to be thorough. ______________________
I didn’t even start wearing bikinis until I was 27, I certainly am not going to stop now.
Oh good lord.
You know what? I first had pink hair at the age of 18. I was harassed by my university biology professor while I was a young women trying to get an education. He would interrupt me and say “Halloween is over.” ______________________
I don’t wear jeans very often. These are ripped in the knees. Do they count?
I encourage you to dress for yourself and to respect others to do as they please with their body. Self-love and respect fosters the confidence to speak up and not settle in matters where you have a choice. Who knows where that could take you, you know?! xoxxo that fat 30-something weirdo, jamie P.S. You can read Lauren Gordon’s article on referencing the Harper’s Bazaar Snapchat on Cafe Mom. Thanks to Sarah Chiwaya of Curvily Fashion for starting the hashtag trend #BizarreBazaarRules in reaction to the Haper’s Bazaar Snapchat. And a million thank yous to the lovely people featured on Advanced Style you are truly an inspiration to me.
Yes yes YESSSSS!! Thank you for saying this. As a chubby chick in her mid-thirties I couldn’t agree more!
Yessss!!!!!! I adore you! 😘😘😘
I was having a fat/ugly/stupid day. Thanks for cheering me up w/ yr beautiful no nonsense self xoxo
I love everything about this and everything about your style.
Thanks so much!
You couldn’t prove them more wrong!!! Smart, style & beauty, thank you for being a true inspiration to us 30-sthng chubby chicks ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you! You are such a gem!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you thank you thank you. Young dinner was a skinny toothpick who is harassed and made to feel self-conscious. 42 year old Anna was a fat overweight middle-aged woman who was harassed and made to feel self-conscious 50 year old Anna was a skinny rail once again who is constantly told to go eat a sandwich. 54 year old Anna is now pretty chunky but finally feeling a little bit better about myself and it’s really sad that it’s taking me this many years to just not care about what I’m wearing what I’m showing or how I look I love you and I adore you
Thank you, Dana! I am so happy you are feeling better about yourself! You are amazing! ❤️
OH MY GAWD! Jamie!! I love this, I love this, and I love this! Did I mention how much I love this?! I never wore a bikini until I was 27! One more thing to add to our amazing bucket of similarities! That lip color one was the most bull crap though 🙄 all of it is, but why pull our faces into this? Lol 💖💖💖💖
They better stop policing my lipstick, i tell you! 😹😹😹
And thank you, Leah!
You are amazing! Stay weird!
Thank you so much! ❤
This article had to have been written by someone that sets those boundaries on herself & is trying to get other women to do the same. I hate it when women feel that we should all have the same way of thinking. If she wants to put herself in an age limit box then she has my permission lol. You look great love! Keep empowering women & being awesome 👏🏾
Thanks so much! I totally agree! Enforcing limitations & aesthetics is never going to be cool! 😹
I absolutely had to share this! THANK YOU!!
Thank you for sharing!!! 💖💖💖
Dearest Jaime, Thank you so much for being such an inspiration. You are stylish and supremely sexy! Growing up, I was stick thin (but always a weirdo – always will be) and now that I’m over 30 I’ve struggled with “weight issues”. Meaning, that, because I grew into a woman that has curves and some extra weight I have been insecure for most of my adult life. Which really sucked because even though I was ridiculously thin throughout my teens and early 20s I had convinced myself that 125 pounds was somehow too fat and still wouldn’t show off my body. At 33 and 170 pounds, I am still trying to reach a point where I’m comfortable in my own skin. But, seeing articles like yours always brings a tear to my eye, because when I look at you and read your words all I think is “Strong, Beautiful, Independent, Fashionable, Smart, Classy”. It makes me realize that I don’t and shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Thank you, and continue to be you!
Thank you, Mandi! We are all way too hard on ourselves! I hope you can embrace yourself whatever size you are at the moment. All the best to you. xox
Funny that I just wrote a blog post like this. 🙂
Keep being yourself and being confident with yourself.
We think alike! 🙂
You look fucking fantastic breaking every one of these rules!
Thank you, Dasha!
[…] you so much for the love on my last entry on being a fat 30 something weirdo! I pretty much break clothing rule lists made for people over 30 or plus-size daily just by […]